I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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