It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
