Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
