He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
