I think I died a long time ago.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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