Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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