Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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