I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
so let's talk penis.
you will always have a special place in my vag
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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