jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
