You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
