she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
