So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
