Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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