So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
