Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
