It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
