I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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