He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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