Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
