Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
