so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
