Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
