Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
