Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
