Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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