Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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