Plan B is the new Plan A
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
