Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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