this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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