i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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