covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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