Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
