just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
