im about as happy as oj after his trial
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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