Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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