and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
