wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
