You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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