p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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