I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
