just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
