Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
