oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
