it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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