put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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