Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
