Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
