i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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