the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
