Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
