They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
